“If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.”  -Author Unkown

I came across this quote today and took it in like a much needed drink of water.  Yes, I thought… I’m chasing two rabbits.  In reality, I’m chasing many rabbits.

I’ve concluded that I’m a research-aholic.  I love, love, love to learn new things, to ingest all kinds of information – but my downfall happens when I am done.  Rather than use that information to make any significant changes to my life, I often move on to something else… the next bag of toys that will stimulate my mind.

This happens in my Internet Marketing business, too, which is why I focus mostly on research and development of new techniques and systems.  Well, I’m really good at the researching, but I’m lacking on the development side because I’m chasing too many rabbits.

So I’m looking at making a shift – maybe my strength is really my downfall…?  Maybe it’s time for a change.  Time to stretch and grow outside of my comfort zone in my work.

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.” – Paulo Coelho

Other life circumstances are whispering this to me and today I’ve made a decision.  I feel energized by it.  I feel nervous about it.  But I’m putting it out there and hoping that, like Ralph Waldo Emerson said,

“Once you make a decision, the Universe conspires to make it happen.”

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Been quiet.  Writer’s block.  Very much in my head for the last week or so trying to sort out a tough decision that has been all consuming.  It’s always hard to make a decision that you know will hurt other people, but you come to realize it must be.  Seems like everything is a trade off in life, sacrificing one thing to gain another.  I guess we can only hope on our graph of life we ultimately have an incline.

There is a reason bitter and sweet go together.  Growth usually comes from pain.  And we cannot know joy unless we also know sorrow.

I know these things intellectually, and yet my heart still grieves.  I’m stuck somewhere between excited and sad.

And so the cycle goes – for all of us throughout our lives, never yielding.  Tough decisions bring equal parts joy and pain, hope and despair, growth and death, opportunity born and opportunity lost.

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My heart just wants to jump into this image and live inside of it.  The country.  A farm.  A simple life (full of hard work).  Horses, a barn, chickens, perhaps a cute little miniature goat grazing in the pasture.  (And a milking cow for my honey – while I’d like the benefits, I don’t think I’m ready for that responsibility.)  And tall, tall trees. Majestic Willow Trees.

I yearn for long nights sitting on porch swings with my honey, watching the sun set across the edge of our acreage, sipping lavender lemonade.  We would retire for the evening in an early 1900′s restored refuge, complete with wood burning fireplaces, wood floors, vintage chandeliers, and stand alone bathtubs.

This picture is all around me in Utah.  I’m seeing the landscape with new eyes and my heart feels at home.

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