The Artist

{ Out of Your Bone Weary Soul }

July 5, 2013

I Do Not Understand | Art by Angela DiGiovanni

 

Have you ever woken up to find that your life has changed overnight?
And you wonder, how did this happen?  How did I get here?
Your choices were meant to take you somewhere else, but somehow it didn’t work out that way?
You realize you’re all alone, when you meant to have increase.
You realize you’ve opened the door wide open to many foolish paths, when you meant to follow God’s path.  And you are blind-sighted.
You realize your heartache can only get you in trouble – when you look at the paths before you and don’t see the future you thought was yours.
You sit in despair.
Like everything you thought you knew has been ripped out from under you.
Like your very heart is about to explode inside your chest from beating and searching so hard, but it has nowhere to go.
You have nowhere to go – and yet you can go anywhere, because you are tied down to nothing.
And that is the very saddest part of it all.
You belong to nothing – to no one.  Anymore.
You have no one to call home anymore.  No hands to hold your heart.
You have no place to hang your hat, your clothes, your trinkets, your collection of 37-years of life.
A gypsy, suddenly.
Your wandering heart can finally wander, but you don’t want it to.
You don’t want to face the paths that it may take on this blank canvas.
The first strokes to set the precedence, the mood, to set the next chapters of your life.
An unpaved road, an unexpected fork.
You could lay down strokes of angry black, portraying a fearful, rogue wanderer.
You could lay down strokes of fierce red, portraying a mask of distracting bold adventure.
You could lay down strokes of happy yellow, portraying a faux optimism.
You could lay down strokes of honest blue, serenely portraying your melancholy heart, surrendering sorrowfully to the reality before you, painting each stroke without pretense, but with all the passion and authenticity you can billow out of your bone weary soul.
Yes, I will paint blue.  It is the hardest.  It is the softest.

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4 Comments

  • Reply joanne July 5, 2013 at 5:26 PM

    yes, I have come to know this as a way of life, actually. Constantly burned away, burned away, burned away, the losses too much for even blue to express. It is a mystery of the fire. But always…always the hottest flames are transformative in ways that aren’t always for us to understand. we are simply left to live the questions.

    [Reply]

    angela Reply:

    @joanne,
    Dearest Joanne, kindred spirit, wouldn’t it be lovely if one day we should meet?

    [Reply]

  • Reply joanne July 6, 2013 at 2:20 PM

    it would :)

    and for now, we meet one another on common ground. <3

    [Reply]

  • Reply Martha September 11, 2013 at 9:23 PM

    I keep checking back in to see your next post because for some reason, even if I don’t know you, I am worried about you. Isn’t that strange??? That I am worried about someone’s post??? Someone I have never even met before??? Hope things are much better for you.

    [Reply]

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