The Truth Seeker

Raising Children, Living Well, and How to Forgive

August 17, 2011
View from the grass

I’m home, after another long day at BYU Education Week full of back-to-back classes – freaking a little bit inside that I have to leave again in less than seven hours.  Already feeling the lack of sleep (I’m a nine hour a night kind of gal), I had to duck out of a class today and catch some z’s on the grass…

Grass Nap

As you can see – not looking my best.  I can’t, in good conscience, sacrifice one extra minute of sleep to slab any amount of make up on my face.  I definitely value my sleep more than that!  (I should, however, touch up my roots soon…)

Here’s my view:

View from the grass

Some more brief thoughts on forgiveness, and how to help us forgive…

  • Rediscover the humanity of the person who hurt us.
  • Surrender our right to get even.
  • Revise our feelings.
  • Realize forgiving and reunion are not the same thing.
  • Realize you can love someone for their infinite worth and potential as a human being and child of God, without having them qualify for your trust or friendship.

Love that last one.  Like I’ve mentioned, I don’t really struggle with forgiveness (anymore) because of all the work I’ve done with that in the past.  I forgive easily – mostly, I don’t even need to forgive because I choose not to take offense in the first place.  However, that last bullet point speaks to me and I could use this in real life situations.  One thing I do struggle with, is boundaries when someone has abused my trust.

On raising children….

Children develop good self worth and self satisfaction when they accomplish hard things – not when they are placated with constant undue and unearned praise, which creates entitlement monsters.

So instead of throwing around praise for the simplest things, praise them for working hard and accomplishing things they didn’t think they could do.  This will teach a child to recognize the pride in working hard and accomplishment.

On living life well….

“Trials are God’s veiled angels to us.”

“What we call disappointments, are only not God’s appointments.”

– Alfred Edersheim

For reasons I can’t explain right now, I feel deeply akin to Alfred Edersheim and am thrilled to have been exposed to his life and works.

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  • Reply Yasmeen @ Wandering Spice August 18, 2011 at 5:15 AM

    Great advice on forgiveness. I now feel very fortunate to be living a wonderful, fulfilling life with a man I adore and a growing creative outlet, but am occasionally still marred by a traumatizing experience I had with an ex several years ago. I am going to remind myself of everything you said, and do my best to just put it behind me and move on. Life’s too short!


  • Reply Katherine August 22, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    I’ve saved your thoughts on forgiveness on my computer because I know I’m going to need them one day. x


  • Reply cry August 24, 2011 at 12:57 PM

    Hang in there!


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